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A Moonlit Beach by ~xtheravenx:iconxtheravenx:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Sonnet


Laying soft upon the beach,
Our eyes locked, unwavering.
Sharing our thoughts without speech,
Lost somewhere within a dream.

   I feel your hand reach for mine -
   Press it soft into the sand.
   Feel your breath, your touch, divine -
   Sweep me to a foreign land.

Hold me tight within your arms,
Your lips speaking more than words.
Your motions drawing no alarm;
Poetry felt, but not heard.
   
   Lost within the moon's soft light,
   Adrift, together, tonight.
©2004-2010 ~xtheravenx
:iconxtheravenx:

Author's Comments

Hmm...just felt a couple of lines, and went with it. Though I have no one with which to do this, I can still dream.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icontruly-devoted:
~truly-devoted Mar 31, 2004, 11:15:31 PM
I forget how excellent of a writer you are. I am in a creative writing class and a bunch of people wrote sonnets, and I think this is much better than 99% of them. Isn't a sonnet supposed to be in iambic pentameter? Your lines are 7 syllables instead of 10, whatever though, I'm all for bending the rules a little. I really like the mood in this, so peaceful and romatic, I'm a sucker for romance. Heh, I could go on an critique this more (since that's what I am used to doing...CW class) but I'll spare you and just say I am quite fond of this poem and...:+fav: Well done Matt :)

Oh yeah, fix the first letter of the 6th line somehow, it turns itself into a little emoticon and is kindda distracting.
:iconalwayzdazd:
~alwayzdazd Apr 1, 2004, 1:56:13 AM
beautiful..truly missed your writing..makes me all warm and fuzzy..hopefully we will both find this person eventually. :hug:

--
Am I the star beneath the stairs?

Am I a ghost upon the stage?

Am I your anything?


:iconlittle-girl-lost:
~little-girl-lost Apr 1, 2004, 4:58:56 AM
*sigh* oh matt ... this is just beautiful ..... just beautiful .....
:iconwhywhy:
~whywhy Apr 1, 2004, 5:06:20 AM
great stuff. I haven't read a sonnet in a long time, so i was unsure for a moment exactly what a sonnet was :P. Great expression of the tenderness between two ppl in love.

I particularly like the last two lines. Great imagery there.

:+fav: from me too.

WHYWHY.

--
Watch the man walk on over the hill ---->
:iconwalkingsoul:
~walkingsoul Apr 1, 2004, 10:21:17 AM
It's very pure... and I don't know anything about sonnets... but I do know there is something I really like... I only wish I was better with words... ok let me go for simplicity

me - like - very - much

There, I think I have my point across... :)

--
生きている　いきている
:iconcriseyde:
~criseyde Apr 2, 2004, 10:02:48 AM
wow beautiful... *adds to fave*
:iconcrystalchalice:
~CrystalChalice Apr 2, 2004, 12:57:13 PM
Wow, that's completely amazing and beautiful. The imagery and description makes this so personal.

~May we awaken when the full moon rises and the fairies dance in their graves...~
...every time you fall, i will pick you up, don't worry...
:iconteea:
~teea Apr 2, 2004, 4:04:34 PM
sweet lovely images that you wrote.
:heart:

--
Abyssus Abyssum invocat.
:iconxtheravenx:
~xtheravenx Apr 2, 2004, 9:56:28 PM
:) Thank you much. :hug:

:ninjafella:Matt:ninjafella:

--
The funniest thing I've read in a while:
chown -R us ./base
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